Kay Miller

 
Memorial
June 18, 2006

We played an old tape of Joe singing 'I Believe" with Grandma Kay accompanying him on the organ.

Then we removed Grandma Kay from the square gold box that her ashes had been kept in.  We (Betty, Dad, Gene, Cuzncindy, Debbie, David, Lois and Arnie) all walked over from the little pavillion to the water's edge.  Cuzncindy walked out and tossed rose petals in the water saying the Our Father.  Others threw their multli-colored long stemmed roses into the blue green water of the bay.  The waves pushed some to the shore but the majority were pulled into a slow current. 

Then Cuzncindy raised Grandma Kay's ashes to the sky saying, "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust -- Rest in Peace Grandma Kay, we love and miss you".  She slowly poured the ashes into the warm bay waters.

A cloud of her ashes dissipated in the water around her and slowly moved with the current out to Tampa Bay which Grandma Kay  always thought was a pretty site.

Each person solemnly in their own thoughts paid respects to a great woman.  We took in the surroundings to remember the day as we deeply breathed in and smelled the salt air.  We heard the gulls overhead and the water lapping onto the shore.  The sun was shining bright and we could feel the warmth on our faces as a gentle breeze passed. We felt as though Grandma was there giving us all a kiss.

The day could not have been more perfect to celebrate her 100th birthday.  Cuzncindy said that in her mind she sang the Happy Birthday tune. Grandma Kay will always live in our hearts.  God bless you Grandma Kay for eternity.

Fran Polizzi – said she was the greatest mother-in-law that anyone could ever have.  She never had a cross word with her.  Grandma Kay thought of and treated her like a daughter.  She remembered she always used to teach the kids all kinds of dances.  The Funky Chicken, the Freddie, and the Twist.  And that she bowled even at the age of 80 years old!  She admired her for a going back to school and opening a beauty shop, along with taking care of 5 kids and helping Jasper in the grocery store.  A truly remarkable woman!

Cindy Manner– Memories of Grandma Kay are always with the feeling of warmth, love and understanding.  I remember the wonderful Sundays all her children and families would spend at the Rydalmount house.   There was a pot of spaghetti sauce always cooking in the basement kitchen and water boiling for the pasta.  Tables were set up and even a ping- pong table was used so everyone could eat together.  I remember the cherry tree and how we would climb up in it and eat the cherries right off the tree.  Grandma Kay would come out and say we were going to get a bellyache.  I remember her cutting my long- long hair that was braided in her basement salon.   However, not everyone was happy with that decision.  I think everyone got a turn with her shears at one time or another.  Moments I enjoyed with Grandma Kay were recently in her latter years and taking her to go and get her hair cut at 99 yrs old.  When they sprayed to wet her hair, the white curls would just hang and there would be tiny ringlets all over her head. 

I was always so amazed that she stayed active and participated in so many activities for her senior citizen years along with living independently on her own until 98 yrs. old! Like doing taxes for the senior citizens at age 84.  Volunteering for meals on wheels to other senior citizens even younger then her at age 86!

She’s truly an inspiration and a mentor of positive attitude that you can do any thing you put your mind to.  It must have been her doing all those word puzzles that kept her brain so active!

Looking through pictures and her bookshelves I remember she loved gardening and wrote a little newsletter, she learned calligraphy and always sent the prettiest signed cards.  She was always in the newspaper for something such as dancing with the senior citizens and Bernie nicknaming her Dancee, making dolls for underprivileged children, or sharing her best recipes to the world.

Also, in a discussion with my sons Eric and Andrew, it always made them chuckle in how she showed such enthusiasm when she watched wrestling and the WWF matches!  Pretty cool for a great-grandma.

Steve Gregory – Memories of our Grandma Kay . . . 

Recently, I was listening to old tapes from the 60's where My Mom Angie and Kay used to communicate between Ohio & Florida via audiotape.  One Sunday, we picked up Great-Grandma Nancy (Nana) & brought her over to our house for dinner.  Mom had the idea to record a tape with Nana.  Well, the rest was priceless. . Nana's advice for Kay was "Listen to me .. don't you ever buy Stocks - they're no good - don'ta waste your money  - and another thing  be careful when you go out dancing . . . etc . . . the best part was that Kay used to record over the same tape and send it back - we got it back with her answers to Nancy's advice dubbed in - "Yes, Momma" . . . "I Will" . . .  "Ok, I promise Momma".   It's touching to hear and a real hoot!  She was a wiz with the tape recorder.

Another tape from Kay & Howard together - they were both trying to describe something when Howard got frustrated with Kay over some trivial point and they started arguing on the tape - He forgot they were being recorded and was obviously embarrassed when she reminded him the recording was still on - he suddenly stopped and only said "Aw, Shucks!".    There was much of bickering but they were in love the whole time they were together . . . and they're together once again.

We lived with Jasper & Kay in the upstairs quarters of Rydalmount house around when Kathy was born.  I was only 2 or 3 and have limited memories, but I do remember big dinners, Imbuliadi (sp?), pasta, family, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, fun . . . the basement - the back yard.  I have one visual memory of Jasper watching him come in the side door.

 We did quite a bit of camping in the 60's where Kay went along, one time in Minnesota, a bear attacked our dining tent overnight - Kay was terrified and spent the morning in the car.  She, of course, was usually the pillar of strength.  Another memorable moment was in Michigan when she wanted to drop in on an old friend who owned a beautiful little place called "Fought's Resort".  I have forgotten Mr. Fought's first name, but I'll never forget his tearful surprise when Kay appeared at his door out of nowhere.  "Oh My God, Kay!" he exclaimed as the old friends embraced.  She liked to travel - we did quote a lot of driving on those holiday roads with an occasional "Love Each Other!" to us kids when we tangled in the back seat.

 I wished Grandma Kay had taught my Mom more about cutting hair. . :)

 When I was 10, Kay asked me "Are you old enough to have a pocket knife?"  I said, "Well, I think I am!"  She gave me my first little knife saying - "now don't tell your mother I gave you this . . ."

Kay taught me the chord basics on the piano - the old 4-3 technique.  I never did take a lesson from anyone else and to this day use her tricks that have evolved onto my playing style, which is completely unorthodox by most standards.  Thank you, Grandma.

 Later on, when I was in high school, Grandma came to Ohio to stay with us for a while, Tim temporarily relocated downstairs on a couch and offered her his bed and I got to share the upstairs bedroom with Kay.  Oh, those nights before we would drift off to sleep . . . Her voice would come from across the room in the darkness offering advise on about just about everything imaginable.  "Always keep $10 in your sock - you'll never know when you'll need it." . . . "Make sure you always wear clean underwear" . . . "So you have a girlfriend?  Do you know what you're doing with a condom?  Make sure you always use one!  Always be sure to leave a little bit loose at the end . . . Oh My God, Grandma!

 After her stay, Kay asked me to drive her home in her Lincoln so I'd have a little vacation time on my own.  I was young and rebellious; she was patient, forgiving and saintly.  Getting mad at her at one point for her constant "advice", I whipped the wheel around at a stoplight and made an abrupt turn.  This brought from her a deep sigh and the ultimate comment which I tried not to let enrage me - "you know, you have to learn how to drive a Lincoln like a Lincoln . . . "Yes, Grandma, I said".

We shared a birthday and many other great and memorable times.  I think about her often, as I do our other dear family members who are hopefully all at peace together.-          Cuz'n Steve

Kathy Griffith –Grandma had so much of an impact on my life.  When my mom was weak, Grandma was there to take care of us.  She gave us lots of advice – god advice.  Sometimes I dismissed it, being arrogantly youthful, but later would reflect on it and realize how right she was.  There are big things and little things that I reflect on daily about Grandma.  Little things like cracking an egg!   I remember working with her in the kitchen at Willoughby Hills and I was tentatively trying (unsuccessfully) to crack an egg on the side of the mixing bowl.  She grabbed the egg from me and said, “Don’t be afraid to crack that egg!”  And whacked it hard on the bowl.  So consequently, every time I crack an egg, I think of her!

And that was Grandma, strong, decisive, - a teacher.  She was on of the strongest people I’ve ever known.  I often think about her when I play the piano too.  While I took several years of formal lessons, it was Grandma who taught me the shortcuts.  I use those shortcuts today quite successfully.  Music was certainly always a big part of Grandma’s life--
I can still hear her singing and playing the organ.  And music is certainly a tie that binds many in our family.  So many of us inherited her talents.

Tim Gergel – always expressed his enjoyment he had when he lived in Miami and would frequently visit Grandma Kay in Bradenton .

Steve Vincent– I do remember that when Grandma Kay smiled, it was from the heart. 

Craig Vincent– remembers Grandma Kay from when he was a very little boy.  He said when she visited he remembered her holding hands and how the size of hers encompassed his.  She had very big strong hands and he could feel she loved him how a grandson is adored and cherished.

Debbie Merrick – She remembers Grandma Kay trying to teach her how to crochet.  It was a hopeless task but Grandma was very patient.  Debbie said Grandma Kay would look at something and say, “I can make that! And then she would crochet it right up!

David Wilson – remembers Grandma Kay’s pool table at the Bay Shore Gardens house and how she would put a piece of plywood on the top of it when they would have family dinners.  He said it was there he learned how to play pool and the love of the game that is so much a passion of his today.  At dinner he would sit patiently waiting for everyone to finish so he could clear the dishes and eagerly start a game.

Lois Polizzi-Pittler – She remembered Grandma Kay had been kind to give Joey a vile of healing waters from Lourdes, France.

Arnie Pittler – Said Grandma Kay’s face would “light-up” whoever she heard or saw anyone talk about cookies. 

Joey Polizzi -  He thought she was a strong woman.  She really helped him out when he was sick and going through chemo treatments. 

Betty Polizzi – Said mom had some favorites when it came to food.  She loved cookies.  Every week when they checked to see what she needed at the grocery store, she almost always needed cookies!  Usually she would want five or six packages!  Also, whenever, they went to a restaurant for lunch or dinner, she always ordered the same thing which was chicken fingers and French fries.  She would eat some and take the rest home for later.

Joe Polizzi – He remembers the same as above but once he remembers how proud she was of him when he won a jitterbug dance contest.

Charlie Polizzi – He remembers delivering some groceries to a nightclub called, ‘The Ohio Villa’ for his father, Jasper.  As he was driving, he began to daydream and started going too fast.  He looked in his rearview mirror and saw a cop was behind him with his lights on.  Charlie slammed his beaks on and did a 180 facing the cop car.  To avoid an accident the cop car swerved, slid and crashed into a tree.  He had to drive the cop and his partner back to the station where they put Charlie behind bars.  He called his mom and she came and rescued him.  She not only got him out but all the charges were dropped.

He said she also wanted him to buy a motorcycle for him.  When they went to go and look at them he thought they looked like a big monster.  Later she did buy one for him and he used it throughout high school.  He said it helped when he was working in high school.  HE said he gave his whole paycheck to Grandma and if he ever needed any money she always gave it to him no matter how much he wanted.

Marge Polizzi –said all the years she was married to Charlie she never had a cross word with Grandma Kay.  She also said that she was treated like a daughter.   (Note that is the second daughter-in-law that said the same thing without knowing what the other one had said!)

She remembers when Grandma Kay would do her hair and give her a perm. She always enjoyed those special times because Grandma would confide in her and Marge felt as thought she truly trusted her.

Roy Polizzi–tells the story of how when he was 8 or 9 years old he rode his 24” bike along with an attached trusty transistor radio approximately 5 miles to Grandma Kay’s house on Rydalmount.  Of course, Aunt Marge called ahead to let her know he was coming.  Upon arrival Roy remembers her fixing lunch for him and doting over him.  Uncle Charlie came over in the car and put the bike in the trunk and drove him home.  It was a great and adventurous day he said for him. 

He also remembers when Grandma Kay came out to visit when Uncle Charlie had his 70^th birthday party in Calif.  Roy asked her if she wanted to fly on his airplane with him to work out in the desert the next day.  She declined, however, the next morning she was dressed and waiting for him downstairs and Roy flew her on his plane to work that day.

Jerry Polizzi – He fondly remembers how Grandma Kay used to play the organ and piano and always had a happy face while playing.  He always remembered her with her apron on at the Rydalmount house cooking really good smelling stuff in the basement kitchen.  It was usually a good pot of spaghetti sauce.  He also remembers how she liked to drive her car and she did it fast!  He went with her one time and when she pulled out of the yard she zoooooomed off.

Carol Vaccariello– Grandma Kay was the only person that cut her hair until she reached adulthood.  Also when Carol visited Grandma Kay they would have a recital and play the piano and sing.  Grandma Kay always made sure that it was written up in the newspaper.  Aunt Fran said she saved the articles. Carol also said she used to send her copies of her sermons and Grandma Kay would critique them for her.  That was a great memory.

Gloria Stephens – She remembered when Grandma Kay used to keep cages of parakeets not parrots in the basement and teach them how to talk.  They would say, Hello, Happy Birthday and how are you?  She taught her how to use a small post to train them to hop onto.  This helped when the birds transition and would be taught how to hop onto your finger.    She also remembered what a good time they all had when they went to the Quaker Oats Mill and had their picture taken as a family dressed up in 1800’s clothing.  Grandma sat front and center.

Rest in peace, Grandma Kay